If you guys know me, you'd know that in the past few years that is one of the hardest things that I have struggled with. You'd also know that I am one of the most pessimistic person you'd ever meet, and you'd know that I'm not a very strong person. So you guys would know that even as a normal person, being positive is a very hard thing to keep up. I know I'm not the only one. There will be people who handles things better than others and there will be people who is affected more than others. But the whole point is that everybody goes through things and everybody has that point in life when they need to breakdown as well. But somehow, I know I've said this before. But people tends to forget the fact that we're human and it's more than okay to breakdown. Just don't stay down.
Being here in the US, with the whole migration and getting used to a new place has been very good for me. I hate it, but it has been very good for me. It has taught me a lot about standing strong on my own and just being positive, setting a positive mindset towards almost everything. Don't get me wrong. I still do have crappy days and I let a lot of things get to me. But in comparison to before, this whole trip has been so beneficial to me. It has in a way forced me to be strong, keep my chin up and try even harder to have this amazing positive mindset. Because there is way too many things to be thankful for if we open up our eyes to them. If you're struggling to set a positive mindset, or to even see the great in anything, or if you're just having one of those bad days, it's okay. It's completely fine. But remember this though,
1. How am I influencing people around me? The good way or the bad? If you're one of those who has bad days every once in a while, I'm pretty sure people would understand. But if you are like me, I used to have my bad days everyday. I would let it define me, I would let it control me, I would let it be me. And one day I just came to a point where I asked myself, what or who am I helping by being sad all the time? What good does it bring to anyone? How is it influencing anyone in the greatest way? None. No great influence. Just the kind where you let the world know that there's more things to sulk about than be thankful for.
2. Is it easier to sulk about things? Yes, to be honest it is. It is easier to find excuses to stay down and complain. It is easier. Because being positive is tiring. But it's worthwhile. If you told me to choose between putting the effort into being positive or sulk all day everyday and question the whole point of things 3 years ago, I would tell you that I would rather sit around depressed all day. Because what's the point? But if you asked me now, I would tell you that I would really like to have the best positive mindset as many hours as I can each day. I still give up easily, I still let things effect me. I still have bad days. I do. But I try my hardest to not let it get to me. And it is worthwhile. Because the thought to always keep in mind is the fact that every little things you do impacts someone in either the littlest day possible, or even in the biggest way. The words you use, the way you carry yourself, that positive outlook you have on life, people look up to that. You maybe completely unaware, but just like how the actions of others influences you, you're doing the same to others.
3. If I don't help myself, who will? Now this, question. When you're in that phase, you sort of don't really care the least if anyone cares about you. If you're putting an effort to help yourself, or if anyone is helping you. But seriously though, even if you do have the best support system you can ever have, like I did, I have the bestest of friends who has helped me through my big and small hurdles, but the whole point is, you can have your whole family who has your back to help pull you up. But how are you going to stand if you don't put an effort into staying up when someone helps you out? Please care about helping yourself stand. Please do. Because people may give up on you, but if you don't give up on yourself, you're still one of the most strongest person alive. Remember that. Your biggest fan, your biggest lover, your strength and your self worth and the person who believes in you that makes the biggest impact in your life is you. Everything has to start from you. If you don't love yourself, you'll never learn to appreciate it when someone loves you. If you don't know your self worth, there's a high possibility that you're going to be mistreated by others and you don't even know it.
4. Keep trying, keep going on. This is a tricky thing. Just like brushing your teeth before you go to bed or bathing everyday, it has become a habit your parents has taught you ever since you were a little kid. It has to be a habit. Just like this, you need to keep trying and keep going. Determination is important. Setting a positive mindset does not come naturally to me. In fact its something that I have to keep "practicing" each day. It's like a muscle I need to strengthen each day. It's like getting a six pack, but for my positive muscle. Setting this mindset comes with time and determination. Things are going to come your way, it's going to hit you in the face like a bus, it's going to try to tear you down, it's going to be a never ending battle of being positive in the hardest time. But it's something you need to keep on trying to keep up. If things are getting too overwhelming, sit back and breathe. It's okay to be a sulking sour plum for a few hours.
5. Everybody is strong enough. By everybody I mean you too. I have had friends who just keeps the whole positive mindset going on and on and on. It's like so easy for them. And I let the whole "maybe they're just stronger. I just wasn't born that way." The one thing that people in this situation shouldn't do is make excuses for themselves. They shouldn't in anyways make excuses to not set this positive mindset for themselves. I used to make excuses for me. I used to just say others are stronger and they can do it. Good for them, I wish I had that. But I don't. So too bad for me. That was the mindset I had. And if that's you right now, snap out of it. Any further of this isn't very good at all. You are strong enough if you put your mind to it. I'm serious. Work on it. Keep your head high and just try you best. Trying your best is all that matters. But don't limit yourself. Don't limit yourself to "this is the best I can do. Sorry, self. I can't go any further." Heck no. You know you can. You know it.
6. Don't let things define you. What people call you, how people see you shouldn't be how you let yourself define you. I'm not saying that you should keep doing things that are unhealthy and then close off all advice. I'm saying, do all the good things and don't let criticism towards the good things define you. Keep doing the great things and let that define you. If you know your worth, if you know you're strong enough, if you believe it, it's going to be hard for anyone to tear you down. Being here for about 4 and a half months, I have spent a lot of time alone. And at the beginning I felt like the world is laughing at me because I look like the ultimate loner. And I hated that. But that was just my insecurities making fun of myself. There's a difference between looking alone and feeling alone. I look alone but I definitely don't feel alone. There is this sense of comfort in loneliness. Thus, not letting the little number of friends I have define me. Or even where I'm from, how I look. Those things shouldn't be made as a laughing stock substance to tear me down.
I hope you guys have a wonderful week ahead.
I uploaded a short but kind of long video about a few things I have learned ever since I've landed here in the US. This post is just a hugely elaborated one. Do check it out :)
^ Click on it, only if you want to.
It's not easy to keep a positive mindset. I know that. But just try! Also remember that there are too many things in a day to be thankful for. So be positive, be grateful and be strong :)
Thanks for reading!
Zoe
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