Third Day - Wasn't so bad

Hi world,

So I noticed something very interesting today. For some reason, have you ever had one of those times where you wished you could have an out of body experience and see yourself from someone else's point of view? Well, I think to have that would be genius because we never actually do see ourselves. It's the reflection in the mirror we see when we groggily pad ourselves to the bathroom in the morning to wash the sleep from our eyes and there you see yourself, eye bags, hair in a bun, ultimate Asian eyes, pimpled face and all. But that's all we see - physical features. In some ways, its good we don't see ourselves from someone else's eyes because there's a lot of ugliness that comes with being a person. I know that if I were to see myself from another person's point of view, a notebook of lists cannot make up for the imperfections that I need to change to be a better person.

I spent my lunch time alone, with a book. It isn't unusual, but it happens more rather than occasionally. And the best bit was I knew that I wasn't lonely. I just knew that sitting by myself isn't a magnet for stares and judgement, in fact nobody cared. When you're alone, or waiting for someone even in a crowded place, it does feel like the doors of your insecurity has opened and it feels like the gusts of winds and storms of judgement of the world is judging you for your loneliness and insecurities when to be honest, nobody really takes notice. Today has been pretty great. I got into my dreaded English 12, the classroom packed like a can of sardine: crowded, hard to breathe, claustrophobic, disgusting and uncomfortable. It consisted of backpacks hitting the back of my head, tables from the back ramming itself into my chair, noise from the hallway that absolutely makes me cringe and the fact that I still felt like an anchovy in a sea of sharks and whales. But we did my favorite thing today. We had to write an essay. For a moment I freaked. I didn't know the format, I didn't know anything. I didn't know if its from your point of view, or if you were to write the essay excluding the words "Me, Myself and I".

After reading the sources I told myself that it was just like writing essays for US History - hook, thesis, paragraphs supporting the thesis, quotes from the sources and citing the sources. Soon enough I found myself writing through 6 long paragraphs. Ideas and words seem to have flowed out continuously to the point where I had so much to say but I didn't want to overstep the limit, even though there were none so I just kept it short and not very sweet. I don't really like not expressing my opinions fully, but if you don't put my writing on a leash, I'd go on forever. For some reason, I don't know if I'm thankful I don't talk as much as I write, or vice versa. After 6 paragraphs of expressing my opinions(still not fully, though), I felt better. I left school with a smile(its quite a shocker considering how I hated that sardine can class) and I too, realized how writing impacts me. It doesn't really matter what the topic is, I guess.

Anyways, that was today.

Thanks for reading, if you have.

I hope you've had a great day :)

xoxo

Zoe