Second day - dreadful

Hi world,

So it has only been the second day of school ever since break ended and I feel so dead. English 12, or some people call it Senior English is no joke. To some people its pretty smooth going, I guess. It's a lot of hard work and a lot of terms that I don't get because I missed English 9, 10 and 11. But that isn't an excuse that I should use because I've learned everything in an indirect way. Like we didn't have a whole year to do descriptive writing and we didn't do annotations. Our summaries are written differently and our essays certainly did not contain a thesis. So yes, I feel like my head is underwater now. There are things like, "remember in your sophomore year, we did .....?" Well, no I don't. Because I wasn't here. I don't know you guys, I'm in out of my head.

Don't you guys feel uncomfortable in big classes? I hate my English 12 class. It is filled completely to the brim with people, people my age but yet I feel like a little fish in a big pond amongst sharks and whales. Crowds make me jittery. Big classes make me jittery. In a way I'm thankful I'm placed in front, but nonetheless I'm still  distracted by the huge crowds that scare me immensely. For some reason blogging and writing is very comforting to me. In a way its a way for me to vent my worries and stupid silly fears knowing that someone who reads this can relate to this somehow. What's even more depressing is the fact that its only Wednesday. How fun is that? Even though I finish school about almost more than an hour early now, it doesn't make English 12 that much easier.

On our first day, which was yesterday, we had to read a poem, annotate it and explain what it meant. After that, we were told that we have to read at least an 800 paged book throughout the whole semester while keeping a booklog and a journal on what you've read, plus even analyzing that damn book. On top of that, keep up with your class work. Well, honestly I hate first day classes because teachers break down everything for you and you end up absorbing overwhelmingly the amount of work you have to do in about 4 and a half months. Not forgetting the pressure that English 12 is needed to graduate. So if I don't put my best foot forward, bye bye graduation.

So I do wonder why I haven't dug a grave for myself and just lied there, waiting for the amount of work to bury me alive. Grrr. School. I would've graduated and be done with school by now.

Happy Thursday.

Zoe