Asian Parents.

So first of all, I'm not being an ungrateful child and this is by no means meant to hurt anyone's feelings. So if this isn't your kind of post, you can hit the ctrl W or the X on your top right corner. And if mom and dad you're reading this, you brought me to a country with the freedom of speech. So, here's me firing away. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. But sometimes even you feel very "UGGHHHH" went it comes to people you love. If you've never had that feeling, then GOOD FOR YOU. 

So as most of you guys would know, I'm not the brightest student back in Malaysia. I was never a straight A's student. And it was just the way it is. And I guess I got the sense that my parent's were definitely not proud of it. Heck, even I wasn't proud of it. So anyways, to cut the story short, here I am now, doing fairly well. Leaps and bounds more better than before ( Thank you, Big Man up there <3 ). And I guess it might be because of my lack of social life, I honestly don't know and I honestly don't care. 

So about two days ago, I was freaking out beyond words of an Algebra test I had to take on Wednesday because I was clearly not prepared for it and I didn't know what I was doing. First time ever since I got here that Algebra made me cry. Anyways, I didn't even have the time to go for free period to seek the advice of my teacher before lunch break to confirm if what I did was right, because the questions on the review sheet she gave us had some funky equations. So obviously I wasn't even near prepared. So either ways, to cut the story even shorter, I sat for the test like some idiot, really. I was thinking to myself if I get a B I would be happy. And I just want my score up to a 90 something. 

So either ways, we got our scores back today and guess what? I scored a 100%.. Which to me, I've never gotten. Especially on a ridiculously challenging paper. And I'm currently at the top of my Algebra class. Which I was never ever close to ever. Milestone, I guess you can say. So obviously, I screenshot the results online and sent it to my family group chat. And previously I dropped a class and it's in the electronic grade book thing, so it's still there. And obviously since I'm not taking that class anymore the record just shows I failed it because of on going missing assignments to a class I clearly do not take anymore. 

So the first reply was, "Oh why is ELD English an F?" 

I kind of wonder of words like "good job!" "Congratulations" or even "keep it up" Exists in any Asian parents' mindset.

I know my previous F's were nothing to be proud of. But come on, a 100% on a test and a 98/100 for the whole grade is still not good enough? If that's not enough, then what is? I know I have like what 2 marks more to a perfect grade and I know regardless of the 98 I still have a lot to learn and improve on, but seriously though, I couldn't even be more discouraged. 

If this is not enough then I don't even know what is.

Get my frustration now? 

Bet you don't. 

All I have are rounds of applause for the amazing discouragement. I'm not expecting a party, or royalty treatment. But a simple acknowledgment would do.

OH BUT WAIT, IT DOESN'T EXIST!

Ha ha. 

Anyways, here's a contrast of frustration and then positivity. There was a great view this morning. And I shall share them with you 

Didn't mean to rant, but I had to. 

Have a great weekend!

Zoe

OOTD Sunday

I wouldn't consider myself a very fashionable person when it comes to following the seasons. But here's my ootd for today, and I think I did good on my Fall inspired outfit today, since it's not Summer anymore, and the weather has been getting colder! :) 

I also put together a video of outfits I have been alternating and wearing to school, or some outfits along that line, mixing and matching to try to coordinate with the season and the state of the weather :) 

The video includes the following and more : 

If you're interested, click the link below, if you aren't then don't bother! :D 

Summer to Fall Transition Outfits!

Have a great week ahead :) 

Zoe

Uncomfortable situations.

Here's my say on uncomfortable situations. If you feel uncomfortable, get the heck out of there. If it's not something you're comfortable with doing, seeing, saying, then don't do it. Walk away, really. Just pick up your things and walk away. That's my views on it. I do not see any reason as to why anyone should have to sit through uncomfortable situations in which you have a say in on whether or not you get to walk away. If you have a choice, use it. Get out of there. Draw the line, respect yourself enough to walk away from the things that makes you feel like crap. Because nobody has the say over who or what you should do. Sure to others it may look like you're running away. But seriously though, who's running away from who? Nobody's running away from anything. It's just decided to put themselves out of the misery or being uncomfortable in a crappy situation. Its that simple. So the next time you feel guilty for walking away and deciding to not put yourself in a horrible situation, don't feel bad. Be proud that you decided to feel comfortable rather than put yourself out there in uncomfortable situations that do not benefit you.

Respect yourself to walk away, guys. It's not wrong. :)

Zoe

Socializing.

I don't know if you guys have paid attention but the amount of posts that I'm generating lately has plummeted to at least 4 a week. This might be a result of my lack of social life. But putting thoughts into words has been my escape lately. I didn't have a bad day today, neither did I have a bad day yesterday or the day before. Except for the fact that it's getting colder. Might I add, I do not appreciate waking up to 7 degree Celsius and having to get out of bed. drag my butt to the bathroom and then drag my butt out of the door. 

I like my warmth. Like most Asians. I do love my warmth. But not the humidity. Anyways, putting that aside, I just really enjoy walking to school. It's a combination of three of my favorite things. 

1. Sunrises.

2. Morning Walks. 

3. Alone Time. 

I'm happy I get to have that every morning before I start the whole process of school. 

Anyways. my lack of social life and the lack of physical best friends has been excruciating. I survive. But it'd be nice for people to exist in the same timezone as be okay. But nevertheless things are great. 

Have a great day, guys!

Zoe

Hello!

Just let this sink in okay, we take a lot of people for granted in our life. Now I want you to take just a little while to think about just one person you know you have taken greatly for granted in you lifetime. Have you got that person in your thoughts? Yes? Good. 

Taking people for granted definitely goes in a circle. I take somebody for granted, that person takes another person for granted and the cycle goes on. I'm not saying it's a good thing. It isn't very nice to be taken for granted. And it certainly isn't a very good thing to take others for granted. Sure, there will be those people that you know you just won't click with, those who wants you more than you'll need them. It's a mean thing to say, but that is yet another cycle. But my point is, people are like puzzle pieces. Not every corner fits with one another. And that's okay. That's life. But taking people for granted is a different story. Rather, it's choosing to not make corners fit. Here are someways I think you can help yourself to not take others for granted. 

1. Stop, pause. 

Did you just act like that person didn't exist before your eyes? Why did you just do that? Did you just walk that person by, knowing of their existence? Come on, we all know what it feels like to feel invisible to the people we wish knew of our existence. If you don't know how that feels like, maybe you're lucky. But it doesn't give you the green card to take people for granted. Anyways, just stop. Just pause. I know sometimes life gets the worst of us. And we lash out, we don't say thank you, we're just brats sometimes. And we're human so that's okay. But just stop and pause. Just go up to that person, say hi. Be a good friend. 

2. Often say, "thank you."

Ever experienced what the simplest thank you can do to you? Yup, just like the impact on others to you, you can impact others too. Even for the simplest things really, show others that you acknowledge them. Being thankful for their existence, being grateful that they're in your life. Appreciate them for being who they are. One of my teacher's wrote me a note today and one of the lines said, "thank you for being you!" Just like every other person on Earth, we're all special. And don't you think it's so much better to just be appreciative of a person's existence, of their personality, that they're original? Rejoice in the fact that there's only one of them in the world. One and only. Just like you. 

3. Go out of the way for someone. 

I'm not saying to drop everything for someone all the time. I'm saying take a few minutes out of your day to just say hi to someone, or compliment them, or just catch up, or boost someone's day. Even a little gesture that takes less than a minute can make someone's day. And just like how you would smile and be delighted at a person's simple text, how do you think other's would react to yours? The little things are the big things, guys. Remember that. 

4. Smile. 

I know I don't do very well that this often. But I'm working on this. Smiling at others is one of the simplest ways you can make someone feel appreciated. Smiles are great bursts of positivity. It's technically all full of optimism and good vibes, guys. Spread the smiles, spread the optimism. 

5. Trust. 

This is crucial. This is the root of all things that relates to taking people for granted. When people trust you, it's important. It's just like people say, priceless. You can't put a price tag on trust, or love, or kindness. If you ever misplace that, you're never getting it back. Treat everyone with care. Treat everyone like they're important because they are. Treat them like you want to be treated. :) 

That's just a few of it guys. Nobody likes to be taken for granted. Make everyone you meet feel like they're worth it because they are worth it. 

Zoe

Fear

You know that sense of fear you get when you're afraid of losing something that you love doing because it has became something that you really just hate? That fear of it being completely intimidating to you, the fear of which it ends up tearing you down rather than build you up. Now I'm one of those who has had two of the things I really love to do taken away from me. I guess I don't have anyone else to blame for it but me, but this post isn't about pointing fingers. It's about the whole idea of having something you love to do, something you can lose yourself in, your personal escape.

So in the beginning of everything it used to be dance, and obviously that turned into a disaster. I miss it, but it's not meant to be anymore. Call me a pessimist, but there are times you need to draw the line between dreams and achievable goals. Or in this case, a line between what would make sense and what will not. Then there was music. That didn't turn out very well either. I remember the last day I really played the keys. It was the day I left home. I remember playing it for the last time, just a few minutes before we loaded our bags into the trunk of the car before we drove to the airport. I played my heart out. I cried while playing and that was the last time ever I expressed myself through music. 

So are you one of those people who has a passion for something but you don't know how to get started, or if you're trying to protect yourself from being intimidated by it, or having to risk another goodbye to something you love to do? Yes, welcome to the Zoe club. I like this whole writing thing. The blogging, the taking pictures, the writing, all complied into one. I do like it. Now actually being good at it isn't certain. But I like it. And for leisure wise, it doesn't matter if everyone else reads, or nobody reads at all. It doesn't matter if I suck at it, if nobody likes it, it doesn't matter. Because I like it and it's meant for leisure. For an escape. To build you up, make you fell better, not tear you down. 

For the longest time, I've been trying to blog. Ever since I was around 8 or 9, I started a blog. I remember my first blog. It was called "Flower Princess." Haha, what a name, right? It was one of the piano pieces I was learning at the time and it was the only thing I could come up with at the top of my mind. I am bad a giving names. Thus, Flower Princess. That blog was up for quite a while until I decided that my content was ridiculous, I was embarrassed at my 8 year old self. I had that on for years. I got my classmates which we were friends since pre-school to read them and we'd have a tiny chatbox beside my posts and we'll just leave a message every time they visited. Well, if you guys are reading this, thank you for being my first readers even when we were kids. 

Also for my first blog, my dad helped a lot in my blogging. Shocker huh? He didn't type it out for me, but he did help me get my blog set up, he did give me a lil bit of content, he basically guided me through it. Sometimes he was the one that kept it alive. Haha. I remember I had a post about a pot of purple violet flowers hoping to keep them alive and my dad helped me blog about them. In the end, the flowers died and so did the blog. 

Then came a few other failed blogs, there was a Tumblr blog that failed, two Wordpress ones that I ended up saying, "I'm so done with this.". Then I had another one called "Words to begin with" that one was another fail. It probably doesn't exist now. Then there's a recent one before this one. I was smarter, in a way. I wrote under a different name. I felt more free with that one. I wrote whatever regardless of who would read it, in this case, nobody would've. It was basically the most depressing posts anyone could think of. It was legit just pessimism everywhere on every post. I had that going for quite a while. I didn't delete it though, I'm pretty sure it's still up. But definitely for me to know but for you to find out. Haha 

Then when I landed in the United States, I decided that this wold be my summer project. But as you can see, I've been trying to take care of this blog with a lot of TLC (Tender Loving Care). I hope it's going well, and I hope that you guys like it. Anyways, continuing to my point. So a few of you guys have been encouraging me since a few years ago to venture in the writing area. One of my teachers supported me to send in an application for a newspaper's teen section thing. And I did, I got accepted, but I read the email far too late past the deadline to go any further. Haha. One of my friends too. He was very supportive of my writings. He always suggested I venture into it. 

But being the chicken that I am, because at that time I've just lost two of the things that I've enjoyed doing and I was so busy dwelling in my depression, I really did not believe in myself. Sincere apologies if you were the ones who encouraged me and believed in me but I turned you down. I just didn't believe in myself and had the mentality that I wasn't enough for anything. But anyways, writing comes to me easily. And there's this whole blogging thing that I seriously enjoy. But to be honest, I don't know if I should keep writing as a leisurely activity or actually make it something real. I write when I'm in all types of moods. It helps me sort out my thoughts. But the fear of making it something that you are obligated to do and not something you do for fun is scary don't you think?

There's this whole deal with college and deciding my major which I have to figure out in a month or so to set my mind on it. I want to be certain. I can't work without a plan. 

But anyways guys, this is me asking for feedback about the blog. Do you like it? Do you not? What's the turn off about it? What would you like to read about? Anything about it really. Good or bad, just shoot them because I want to know :) 

Have a great weekend!

Zoe

Random-ness.

Zoe